What has happened to Lost ?

What used to be a riveting show about fate, survival, and the human condition has kicked off its highly anticipated fourth season with unnecessarily slow storylines that demand way too much patience of its viewers.

I’m just as pissed as you, Jack.

But more important are ABC’s latest web video promos for the show: They are important because they suck. A lot.

Specifically, the online promos are music videos centered on the show’s five main characters: Hurley, Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Locke. Each character has his or her own little music video, and the pieces are basically mashed up clips from the show with a soundtrack fitting each character.

And that’s where things go wrong. The video for Sawyer (the island’s resident six-packed badass) is accompanied by none other than “Bad to the Bone.” And the clips for Kate (the sultry but tormented law-evading fugitive) go to the tune of “Criminal” by Fiona Apple (remember her?). I never knew Bonus Features to a show could be so lame until now.

I know there aren’t any writers on hand at ABC, but honestly, someone over there needs to sneak in a WGA scribe to make something more engaging / less a waste of everyone’s time and interest.

It’s been all-too clear that ABC is marketing the return of Lost much more heavily to new viewers over existing fans. Why else would they re-broadcast last season’s finale a day before the new season started; or edit together a special episode that so conveniently sums up the past three seasons; or come out with kitschy web music videos that alienate existing fans.

If Lost has any intention to keep me watching, it better get back to the basics, and fast. Otherwise, I hear “American Gladiators” is pretty good…