Forget about Tribune boss Sam Zell’s mea culpa, and don’t expect him to put a muzzle on himself any time soon. The fact is, Zell himself is the Tribune Company’s most valuable asset because the outspoken billionaire knows how to sell papers. When he cussed out that photog in Florida a few weeks ago, it seemed like Zell just had no self-control. But according to Zell, those seemingly random outbursts are actually part of a well-coordinated master plan.

Every time the guy opens his mouth, there’s a media frenzy. To capitalize on it, he should just put himself on permanent public speaking duty and require his scribes to make everything he says front-page news. Papers would be flying off newsstands. Zell seems to realize this now, and he’s trying to somehow rally the company around his own outbursts — at least that’s what he suggested when he addressed his Chicago staff yesterday. A video of the entire meeting is below, and we’ve highlighted some of the more notable parts.

Sam Zell’s Talk at the Chicago Tribune from margaret on Vimeo.

Most of the meeting involved your typical corporate money stuff (bleh), until the Chicago Tribune’s Public Editor Timothy J. McNulty addressed Zell’s apparent transgressions (about 57:15 into the video). McNulty told Zell:

A number of people at the company — and especially women — have been deeply offended by some of the statements you said in other places and other venues…it’s taken so long for people — especially women — to rise in the profession, and some of them feel personally disrespected.

Zell saw that one coming, and he was ready for it:

“First of all, I would not take back anything that I have said…You listen to people in the newsroom — at another paper than this one — literally talk about their total disregard for the company. It’s all about, ‘How do I win a Pulitzer Prize? I don’t really give a shit about anything else’…The challenge for me: How do I get your attention? Call me a schmuck; that’s fine…”

The issue isn’t political correctness; it’s the bottom line, and that’s what Zell says he was trying to get across when he told that woman “Fuck you” in Florida.

“I went over the line on purpose to see if I could bring you to the edge…Everybody’s made this whole thing into this giant thing. The LA Times has written about it. They took it off their website; I told them to put it back on!”

And in case you forgot, Zell’s pretty rich. (That’s supposed to motivate you.)

“Do you think I needed to take on the Tribune because maybe I could get a plane, or maybe I could live in a penthouse, or maybe I could get a house in California if this works? I got all that shit, OK? So I’m out here busting my ass, and I’m swearing at you and you and you and everybody! And I’m saying: Get the fuck up and realize that this is it, man; this is our chance, and we either make it or we don’t make it. And I can pussy-foot about it; I can tell you nice little stories. We can all go off into the sunset and down the elevator shaft loving all the vignettes. But you know what? At the bottom of the elevator shaft they have this special room called “Politically Correct.”

They don’t sell newspapers in that politically correct room at the bottom of the elevator shaft.