All this hard work has finally paid off.

Yes, friends and fans, Harpo Studios has made a sizable bid for our company, and we’ve decided to submit our humble venture to the Big O.

We can’t really talk details (you know, all that legal stuff), but we can say that there’s a lot of radical new programming in store for you. (Spoiler Alert: One of the shows we’re developing involves Oprah performing street magic with Carrot Top. It should be pretty sweet. The title of the show would have to be something catchy, yet something magical.)

So while this has been a lot of fun, it looks like Fresh Cut is moving onto bigger and better things. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to hand in a rough draft of “Oprah-Cadabra.”

Hassan*

*April Fools, suckas! Although really, I imagine very few of you actually believed this. I mean, seriously, there’s no way Carrot Top would have done that show.

At least we’re not as mean as Google with their brand new service prank: Virgle Pioneer. I wonder how many geeks actually signed up for it.

Oprah, we love you, but we’d have to think twice before succumbing to the O-Empire. (I hear you’re a pretty tough boss.) Nevertheless, I’m not kidding about “Oprah-Cadabra.” Have your people call my people. An Executive Producer credit and a free car should be compensation enough. You know, nothing much…

Actually, when I say “there’s a lot of radical new programming in store for you” and we’re “moving into bigger and better things,” that’s no joke. For realsies, we’ve got some top-secret projects in the works, and it won’t be long before we make that real announcement. In the meantime, pray for the cold weather to end. We here in Chicago could really use a tan.